My two favorite quotes about flowers are “I must have flowers, always and always” (Claude Monet) and “There are always flowers for those who wish to see them” (Henri Matisse). I decided to title this painting the first quote because it looks like the flowers are just bursting out of the vase. I think it’s interesting the juxtaposition of “man taming nature and nature rebelling,” like how we have this beautiful porcelain vase that symbolizes order, with beautiful, gigantic blooms spilling out and reclaiming their space. I feel like my personality matches the flowers a lot. I try to conform, but I find my true purpose when I’m being myself and doing what I do best.
As is gets darker and darker outside, I’ve been feeling the urge to make my apartment brighter and brighter. I am one of many people that suffer from SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder. It doesn’t help that I’m going back to Chicago in a week due to a medical withdrawal from my classes. I’m not looking forward to the snow and 30-degree weather that the Midwest produces as soon as Halloween ends. To combat my sheer terror and the death of nature outside, my paintings have been exploding with color and life recently. The one thing I am excited about going home for is the unlimited time I will have to just paint and paint and paint. I’m planning on doing more bright, colorful, almost impressionistic paintings and just surrounding myself with all things warm and summer so I can brighten my mood.
If y’all haven’t noticed, I decided to convert my blog into a blog for my creative outlets (i.e. painting and writing), since 1) the world has enough fashion blogs and 2) I can only afford fast fashion (which kills the planet) and 3) I’m tired of pretending like I know what I’m doing and being an expert on everything. In reality, I’m not. I am a walking hot mess and I feel like if I was categorized into an archetype, I would be “chaotic-good,” if that explains anything. (I just took the quiz, I am 82% chaotic good. We are official.) I don’t have everything together, and it’s unfair to myself but also to everyone else if I pretend that I’m perfect.
Anyways, I’m looking to do more paintings and illustrations in the coming months and I would love if y’all could share with me how you get inspiration/subject matter! I go on Pinterest a lot, but for some reason my feed just hasn’t produced anything particularly interesting to me. I’m not sure if I want to paint faces or nature, but I’m really over this whole trend of painting celebrities. Should I do more self-portraits? Paint my friends? I don’t know. I’m trying to brand myself as an artist like produce colorful, girly paintings, but I’m hesitant to try out fashion illustration as with my eating disorder history, it’s a toxic environment where it seems like everyone is materialistic or mean or snooty or super judgey of people who don’t fit in the sample size or are poor. I guess maybe I should make my paintings reflect my values and inspire confidence in young women that no matter who or where they are that they are beautiful and worthy of celebration.
I’m feeling inspired now just thinking about all the possibilities I can do with girl power and beauty and just celebrating the human experience. The last thing I want to do is deprive my art of meaning, substance, and life. Ok, y’all, thank you for reading my stream of consciousness. Be on the lookout for more pieces!!!